I'll spare you an introduction to these assholes because it's all the rage everywhere. I'm sure poverty stricken children worldwide know about these stupid fucks and the knowledge of that infuriates them to live on. Not even two years ago guidos were mercilessly torn apart all over the internet far worse than juggalos. For instance, in the "good old days" (they don't exist), no one would want to be associated with this stupid asshole based solely on a single frame of his existence.
Exhibit A: Wigger Guido? No one knows for sure.
I don't even have to hear a word from this moron's mouth to know that anything he has to say about anything is essentially worthless. I would gladly listen to myself shit myself to exhaustion than whatever he has to say.
I fondly remember telling my friends what a guido was and throwing that name around as an insult even though my targets had no idea who are what the fuck a "guido" was. Just reading about these sub culture boggled my mind; I didn't have the courage to venture out and look for any sort of video on this horrid group of people. I could only imagine how furious they would be if you used any word with more than three syllables or mentioned anything besides spray on tans, hair product and fist pumping. I also wondered how incredibly offended and up in arms these assholes would get if you called them "metrosexual" just because it sounded so close to "homosexual". After beating the shit out of the inside joke of guidos with my friends, it lay forgotten, little did I know it's rotting corpse would come back with a shitty, faux, half-assed, shitty-attempt-at-being-a-legitimate-Italian vengeance.
Personally, I never was a fan of these type of "reality" shows that, as mentioned before, give people some sort of purpose to live another grueling day in their vapid lives. When I first heard that there was going to be a show about these mutants, I scowled in typical fashion and figured that no one could possibly care about the ultimate form of egotistical shitheads to pay any heed to them. Clearly, I was wrong. Day after day I would hear about or see shit related to this "entertainment". It started off with some nonsense about "Snooki", which, at the time, I figured to be some sort of marshmallow snack. After finding out who "Snooki" is, I was pretty close with my first assessment. Also, South Park did a great representation of this beast.
Exhibit B: Cannibalistic marshmallow.
The people I used to joke about these lusus naturae suddenly are their biggest fan boys and live vicariously through their shallow minded tendencies. Most of their responses from being asked, "How can you watch these abominable excuses for humans?" were generally, "Well, I just like making fun of them." I'm all for some sort of sadism in a person, but in reality I can't even comprehend how a person can put themselves through that kind of punishment. I'd like to think the people I associate myself with are above average in the regard of intelligence but someone has to be incredibly masochistic or banal to the point that drinking water is more dynamic than their entire being.
I cannot grasp any way how this show is in any way entertaining. Before some smart ass decides to pull the, "Well if you haven't seen it, how can you judge it?" bullshit, I have seen an entire episode from start to finish, shithead. I have never wished more for a thermonuclear war to start right where I sat to end that miserable blip of life I endured. It does nothing more than plant a seed of disillusionment in the brains of the already stupid masses who now feel entitled to bring it up as often as possible, everyday, as often as the Anchorman craze (thanks for ruining the novelty, morons). Nothing about the idiots on this show is redeeming at all other than the fact that it's a reminder that I have dignity and a conscience of a considerable standard.
Note: None of this is projected jealousy. I'd rather have a mental capacity higher than a tree stump and a logical thought process that didn't adhere to the ethos of "gym, tan, laundry". Don't be an asshole.
P.S. It's futile for me to even attempt a rally to try to even stop this tidal wave of shit, so just put a bullet in my head for me because of this sole picture. Goodnight.
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