Fat is the New Everything

A prevalent problem here in America is simply people's laziness. This is the generation of instant gratification where patience is now null and void and every iPhone wielding dickhead is on the verge of a nervous breakdown when they can't get that sweet, sweet 4g network nectar ala a crack fiend going through withdrawals. This laziness can be attributed probably back to the first drive through for fast foods which has essentially been vitiated to a place where literal behemoths respite without losing their breath and passing out trying to open the door to their local fast food joint. Obesity has become so out of hand that at your hospital, they've probably started a new field of medicine dedicated only to fat asses, it's called Bariatrics, look it up. Is that enough? Should I continue? I think I will just so you can hate yourself with every bite of every overly processed, sodium saturated, shitburger you devour as greedily as your chubby fingers can. This isn't a shot at anyone with any sort of genetic disadvantage and struggle with obesity. This is about the shitty parents and stupid kids who fill their corpulent bodies with a constant stream of garbage, not on occasion, but out of habit.

With America's incessant need to devour burgers at every corner, it's no wonder obesity is an issue that people have suddenly pushed off onto children at elementary, middle and high schools. While I'm not any sort of fitness guru, I can say this for a fact: get off your fat ass and move (maybe activate the pit while you're at it, but don't grab the Cheetos, lard legs). Also, none of this may be new to you (the dearest of readers), like the supposed fact that there is a McDonalds within every 100 miles of another or other shit that's been covered in numerous and more credible sources about why you shouldn't eat fast food and all that common sense.

*I actually looked up McDonalds on Google maps at a state level, we have a lot of fucking livestock.

But that's besides the point, fat people suck. There has to be a correlation between the size of a person which is proportionate to their level of body odor which is akin to the rotting corpse of a bison that was thrown into an exposed septic tank and then ignited with rubber tires, what a fucking mess. Not only that, but there also must be an inverse proportion of intellect and percent body fat, generally speaking. They're mouth breathing leeches that are overtly sensitive about their body image but don't do shit to fix it. Now let's come full circle after that long winded rant (get it? fat people) and get back to the point of lazy morons who want everything but deserve nothing except contempt. Regarding diets and all that, people (women) will throw their money at anything that will allow them to look like a fucking stick without breaking a sweat. Laziness has exceeded our ability to contain it and has perpetually infested technology also; laziness has appropriated convenience and made it it's fat, bastardized, dimple-knuckled adoptive child.

Cool. I can order Chipotle from my phone so I can avoid the line at the restaurant and then devour it while I sit in front of the t.v. and watch Netflix all fucking night. It's alright though, I bought these diet pills that will suck the life out of me via toilet so I'm not really getting fat, guys. I love my freedom of being a tasteless, vapid, stupid, fat, piece of shit.