Why not? Even though there are better alternatives than this site for finding humor in poking fun of a group of people, I'm bored and figured I'd rather write about these jerkoffs than doing something productive for my mental health like reading a book. I suppose that's a good place to start too; for the amount of books that most of these assholes read, they sure don't retain much from those books and apply any sort of ideas or morals suggested through the reading let alone show any semblance of intelligence. Fellow author on this site had this to say about a related idea.
"Coming from an English major, just "reading books" does not solve problems. There is a difference between reading books and being an educated person, just look at the New York Times Best Seller list. It's the most mind numbing mess you've ever seen. I'd argue that the NYT list kills as many brain cells as American Idol. You have to read quality literature, fact and research based non fiction, and newspapers/other news outlets. Reading does not equal intelligence."While reading is something I use as a source of learning and entertainment, I have a vague feeling that most young adults who regard themselves as some sort of critique of novels are trying to find Holden Caulfield in every book they pick up so they can, "totally relate". Anyway, reading books has become almost a thing like collecting baseball cards. My personal favorite schtick these faux intellects pull is embracing their, "inner nerd". You would assume that a person so obsessed with trying not to look stupid would at least try to not pull this kind of shit:
While people's definitions and mental image of what a hipster looks like or does differs, I'm sure we can all agree on the pretentiousness of musical taste and their peculiar sense of entitlement for knowing about _______ before you did. I've noticed that it doesn't necessarily stop at music though, it can literally be anything and they would have the pressing need to scowl at whoever was a second late at learning about whatever new hot thing and not waste time chopping this fool down as if they're living in the dark ages. News flash: unless you created whatever it is you're bitching about that other people found out about, on their own accord or through you, no one gives a fuck. Seriously. No one. What did you expect, some sort of certificate that you heard this band's demo first or whatever else it is? Of course, all of this only comes out when someone mentions how much they like something, as if liking it at all is ridiculous because they didn't like it from the second it was conceived. I'm surprised they haven't just taken to the streets with signs that say "I hate fun", oh wait, too much conformity and resemblance/connecting to other people and it's not a gay pride parade. Here's something worth bitching about for finding out about:
Having God reveal himself to you first, telling you he's going to make his presence concrete, tangible, etc. to the rest of humanity and then doing so. Not only would our precious hipster fucking brag tirelessly about this, but s/he would do so in a manner of aloofness; just to do it to rub it in your face as if it mattered. So time goes on and then God gets fed up with this asshole bragging about hearing about it first, and since God is benevolent on behalf of mankind, he grants this hipster immortality then promptly sets him/her on fire for the rest of eternity. Now, why would God do that? He did it after he kicked Charon's lame ass out of Hell and put this douchelord in his place to ferry the dead while said immolating hipster can let every other damned asshole that, "God came to me first before you peons". Cool.
I suppose the next point would be their attire but that's been beaten to death. Just look for someone who dresses from a different era or looks like they've done a colonoscopy through American Apparel for tacky/weird shit and then a thrift store for the sake of saying they got it all at a thrift store; they both stick out like sore thumbs unless you're at some really crappy party or club. Anyway, here will be the only mention of a fixie bike and shitty beer, and here's to hoping that the sum of everything in this post gets passed off onto the homeless so I can hear about how passé it was and be a smug dick about it.
Look up "Interior Semiotics" and hate everyone.
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